Love Me Like You Do
by RachieAliette
Summary: Having told Nick that she can't marry him Carla intends to end their relationship, but will he be able to let her go? And when it comes down to it, will Carla herself be able to simply walk away. Rated M for sexual content. (Based upon the preview pics as I still haven't actually watched this episode).
1. Chapter 1

Love Me Like You Do ~ Part One

There were tears within her eyes, silent tears which fell slowly down her cheeks. 'You're everything to me, Carla.' He said, his voice soft with a hint of desperation about his tone. It wasn't the first time she'd heard these particular words escape his lips tonight. 'Please.' Nick simply uttered, taking a single step towards her yet despite now being physically closer to her she still felt so out of reach. 'Carla.' He softly sighed her name to fill her silence as she simply gazed back at him. A soft sigh escaped Carla's own lips, her eyes briefly falling closed which in itself released a fresh wave of her silent tears. The only words she needed to say to him were the only ones which wouldn't come. 'Give us another chance.' Nick pleaded with her, his eyes begging her so much more than his words ever could. 'I love you.' He said with the sad smile of a man on the edge of losing the love of his life.

Carla swiftly moved a shaking hand towards her mouth to cover the soft gasp which escaped her lips upon Nick's admission of loving her. She knew she didn't deserve his love but at the same time she knew she could never be without it. She could never be without him. He was everything to her just as she, by his own admission, was everything to him. Carla was so conflicted she could only stand twisting her hands before him, vulnerable and unable to either walk away or reach out to him. Ever since she'd told him that she couldn't marry him she'd been searching for the words to explain her decision but she'd found nothing. Instead she'd simply told him that she didn't deserve him, and with it spared him the sordid truth of why that was so. 'I don't love you.' Carla said, the words slipping from her lips before she could stop them. As she spoke she turned her head from him, her eyes downcast to the floor. It was the only way she could ever say those words.

Lightly Nick shook his head, unable to believe her words. 'No.' He simply whispered in disbelief as Carla closed her eyes, unable to bear his reaction. 'You could at least say it like you mean it.' Nick bit back as Carla remained silent, hurt that she was still resolute in pushing him away. He'd told her everything he could. He loved her; she was his life. There was nothing more he could say than rephrase the same words in the hope that he would, somehow, get through to her just how much she meant to him. Carla lightly sighed to herself as Nick spoke. She'd known even before she'd said she didn't love him that she wouldn't be able to say it with enough conviction for him to believe her. Slowly Nick's hand became apparent beneath her chin, his curled fingers gently drawing her to look up at him. There was something in her eyes, which were unable to meet his, that told him her words weren't true but if they were he needed to know. If she truly didn't love him he would have to let her go.

His fingers were light against her chin, his thumb gently catching her tears as they fell. 'Carla.' He softly said to catch her attention, needing her to look at him and not somewhere behind him as she currently was. Slowly Carla drew her eyes to meet Nick's, noticing for the first time the tears in his eyes. 'Look me in the eye.' Nick began, pausing to hold back the tears which threatened to fall. 'And tell me you don't love me.' He finished, his voice breaking such that his words ended up as nothing more than a whisper. Shaking her head Carla closed her eyes, a ragged sigh escaping her lips before she quickly stumbled away from Nick. As she stumbled Carla wrapped her arms around herself, hugging herself as her tears began to fall. Those words would never fall from her lips again. A relieved sigh teamed with tears of relief escaped Nick as he ran his hand through his hair. At least if Carla couldn't say she didn't love him they might still have a chance.

Brushing his tears away with the back of his hand Nick watched Carla, her face now buried into her shaking hands. 'You can't say it, can you?' He softly asked Carla who lowered her hands to look back at him before wrapping her arms around her to hug herself. 'I could say it, Nick, but, I could never mean it.' Carla slowly replied, her words every so often catching in her throat, forcing her to pause in order to compose herself. 'You know I love you.' Carla said with a gentle sigh, letting her eyes meet his. As she spoke of loving him Carla noticed a light sigh escape Nick's lips and returned the sad half smile he gave her. 'I love you more than I ever imagined I could.' Carla said before placing her hand against her month. Breaking her gaze away from Nick's, Carla gently shrugged, moving her hand to wipe away her tears. 'But I don't deserve you.' She told him with a gentle shake of her head, pausing a little before continuing. 'And you don't deserve this.' She said, slowly returning her eyes back to meet his as she spoke, her words falling to a whisper.

For a moment the pair simply stared at each other, Carla's words hanging in the silence between them. He'd heard it all before. Barely a day went by without Carla telling Nick she didn't deserve him, especially since she'd forgotten his birthday and disappeared following a stupid row the very next day. Their goodnight kisses were now followed only by silence, their usual fun between the sheets seeming like a distant memory. They slept beside each other but miles apart, Carla curled away from Nick who could only watch her struggling through. The coldness she showed him by day felt magnified by night when it was just the two of them, the fun they'd so often shared replaced by distance. It was distance which Carla herself pushed between them, unable to allow herself to get close to Nick after what she'd done. Oblivious to the inner guilt which was currently destroying his fiancée, Nick could only put her coldness towards him down to her confusion over Johnny's revelation.

Slowly Nick stepped a little closer to Carla who remained still, not moving away from him yet not moving closer. 'I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, Carla.' He said with a gentle shake of his head as he approached her. As he spoke Carla looked away from Nick, glad that he couldn't see her through her own guilt ridden eyes. When Carla turned away from him, Nick reached out to her, once again catching his fingers beneath her chin. Just as they had been before his fingers were light against her, gently drawing her back to face him. Carla's ragged breath fell over his fingers as her eyes met his, a gentle sigh escaping her lips as she placed her hand against his. Her intention had been to push him away but as soon as her hand had touched his she couldn't. Instead Carla curled her hand around Nick's as he gently pulled their hands away from her face, lightly curling his hand around her fingertips.

Surrounded by silence they stood with their hands tightly held between them, their gazes locked above their hands. It was the closest Nick had felt to Carla since before everything had changed at New Year's. Her fingernails lightly dug into the palm of his hand as she clung to him but he barely noticed. With her hand holding his she finally felt within his reach, he just had to keep hold of her and not let her slip away. Breaking his gaze away from Carla's beautiful tear stained face Nick glanced down at their hands. Upon her finger the engagement ring he'd given her just six weeks previously shone back up at him, the diamond catching within the light. Slowly Carla followed Nick's eyes down to their hands where he drew his thumb back across her fingers before running his thumb over her ring. As Nick played with the ring he'd given her Carla recalled that day when, following her proposal the night before, Nick had surprised her within the bistro and got down on one knee.


	2. Chapter 2

Love Me Like You Do ~ Part Two

With his thumb lightly resting against her fingers Nick glanced up at Carla who remained looking down at their hands. 'Carla, I gave you this ring.' Nick softly began, briefly pausing to find the right words before slowly continuing. 'Because I know you're the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.' He said as Carla drew her eyes level with his. 'I want to be the man you want to spend the rest of your life with.' Nick told Carla, his tone pleading with her to let him be that man. A light sigh escaped Carla's lips, her eyes falling closed at his words. 'You are.' She whispered inaudibly, her lips barely moving as she spoke. Slowly Carla opened her eyes to find Nick gazing at her in the loving way he always did. 'You're not just everything I want, Carla, you're all I want.' Nick softly said, his voice little more than a whisper. A faint half smile crossed Carla's lips, a single tear rolling slowly down her cheek as she tilted her head a little to one side. She knew she felt the same, he wasn't just everything but all she wanted too.

Reaching out to Carla, Nick gently cupped his free hand against her cheek. 'I can see it in your eyes.' Nick said as he lightly brushed his thumb over her tears. 'You don't want this to end.' He whispered, something which Carla knew she couldn't deny. Just as she had before Carla placed her hand against Nick's, holding his hand against the side of her face before curling her fingers around his. As Nick once again pulled their hands away from her face, he curled his fingers around Carla's. With Nick holding both her hands Carla felt herself clinging to him, knowing she could never let him fall from her grasp. 'I love you, Nick.' Carla said, gazing deeply into his eyes as she spoke. A light sigh escaped Nick's lips, his sigh not just because of Carla's words but the sincerity with which she spoke them. 'I love you too.' He whispered in return, pulling Carla's hand towards him before softly kissing her fingers just beside her engagement ring.

Glancing back up at Carla, Nick let their hands, which remained tightly held together, fall back down between them. 'There's nothing you could throw at me which would ever make me doubt that.' Nick said whilst gently shaking his head, his hands lightly playing with Carla's. A sudden gasp escaped Carla's lips. 'You don't know that.' She quickly replied as she began to panic. She knew he wouldn't be so sure if he knew what she'd done. 'Nick, you can't say that.' She quickly added, shaking her head as she pulled against his hands in an attempt to remove her hands from his. 'Hey.' Nick called to catch her attention while retaining a tight hold of her hands. He was not letting her slip away from him now. Slowly Carla stopped fighting against Nick as she calmed down enough to meet his eyes. 'I mean it, Carla.' Nick said. 'I'll always be here for you.' He reassured her with a loving smile which Carla slowly returned, allowing herself to relax into him.

Slowly Carla began pulling against Nick's hands again but this time she pulled herself closer to him, stepping towards him instead of attempting to pull herself away from him. Removing her hands from Nick's, Carla's eyes briefly flickered over his lips as though intending to kiss him but she didn't. Instead Carla stepped into Nick's awaiting arms which encased her in a secure hug. Slipping her arms beneath his jacket, Carla wrapped her arms tightly around Nick, burying herself into his embrace. A light sigh escaped Nick's lips as he held Carla in his arms, his jacket wrapped a little around her as he gently swayed her from side to side. He'd come so close to losing her tonight it didn't bear thinking about. Gently dipping his head Nick softly kissed Carla's forehead, letting his eyes fall closed as he held her. His kiss was everything she needed it to be, so gentle and unassuming as was always his way. Briefly it crossed Carla's mind that if she told him now he might forgive her but she simply couldn't take that risk. Instead she tipped her head back to glance up at Nick who smiled lovingly at her before slowly leaning close to catch her lips in a soft kiss.

Gently pulling away from Carla's lips Nick lightly rested his forehead against hers. With Carla stood close inside his jacket, this was the closeness he hadn't felt with her in far too long. Despite her rarely having been out of his sight for long he'd missed her. He'd missed being as close to her as he now currently was, something which he'd begun to wonder whether he'd ever feel again. As Nick contemplated what might have been he felt Carla's soft kiss become apparent against his lips once again. A light smile crossed Nick's lips as he returned Carla's kiss which grew with a passion their kisses hadn't held for so long. Pressing herself close to Nick, Carla kissed him with a passion she had not allowed herself to feel for him since her guilt over her infidelity had overtaken her. Held close against Nick it was as though something had been unlocked within her, her hands falling down his back to cling at his waistband as her tongue flickered against his lips. She'd missed him, missed that thrill of standing in his arms with his lips close against hers.

With ragged breath Carla pulled away from the kiss, her eyes dark with desire as she gazed back at Nick. She needed him to love her like he always did, like she hadn't allowed him to in so long. There was a light smouldering beginning to burn within her core which she made no attempt to hold back. Stood close against Nick with his eyes mirroring her desire Carla couldn't deny herself from wanting him any longer. 'Are you hot for me, Nicholas?' Carla asked with a low, flirtatious tone she hadn't used for so long. With her tongue lightly playing over her bottom lip, Carla watched Nick, his eyes scanning over her, exciting her further as he leant close to her. 'Always.' Nick whispered against Carla's lips before kissing her passionately. A heavy sigh escaped Carla's lips, the passion of his kiss pushing her back a little before she returned his kiss with identical passion. Unlike so many of their recent kisses, they each knew that this would lead them to so much more.

It was as though the tables had turned, their distance being replaced by closeness. Feeling the passion of her kiss against his lips it was clear to Nick that Carla's doubts of marrying him had been reassured. She was back, ready to let herself love and be loved in return. Taking a step backwards towards the bedroom Carla felt Nick step with her, retaining that closeness between them. Quickly she pulled her hands from inside his jacket, running them up his chest to push his jacket free. Reluctantly Nick removed his arms from around Carla, allowing her to rid him of his jacket before placing his hands against her hips. With his jacket falling to the floor behind him Nick stepped towards Carla, nudging her backwards.

As they made their way towards the bedroom they circled each other, walking haphazardly as though dancing together en route. Upon reaching the bedroom door, a light gasp escaped Carla's lips as she stepped backwards into the doorframe with Nick stepping close against her. For a fleeting moment it vaguely crossed Carla's mind that her fiancé was not the last man to hold her against a doorframe but with Nick's passionate kiss against her lips her thoughts were instantly forgotten. All that remained within Carla's mind was a growing sense of desire for her fiancé which deepened further with the sensation of Nick's hands dragging her top over her body.


	3. Chapter 3

Love Me Like You Do ~ Part Three

Breaking away from their kiss, Carla allowed Nick to remove her top which he discarded on the floor somewhere behind him. For a moment the pair simply looked at each other, each of them attempting to gain some kind of control over their ragged breathing but their attempts were futile. Instead Nick leant close to kiss Carla's neck, his hands wandering up her back in search of her bra strap which he quickly unhooked before pulling her bra free from her. With his hands massaging over her breasts, her nipples becoming hard against the palms of his hands, Nick trailed his kisses from Carla's neck following her collarbone towards her breasts. Arching her back towards Nick, Carla curled her arms around his neck, her fingers absentmindedly playing with his hair. Letting her eyes fall closed, Carla tilted her head back against the doorframe, an involuntary sigh escaping her lips as Nick lightly sucked against her nipple before returning to simply flicking his tongue across her nipple between his kisses.

Slipping her hands free from Nick's hair Carla moved her hands towards his shoulders, opening her eyes as she pushed him backwards, away from her body and into the doorframe behind him. For a moment Nick was confused by Carla's actions until her passionate kiss landed upon his lips, her body quickly becoming closely pressed against his. Wrapping his arms around her body Nick returned Carla's passionate kiss, running his hands over her back as Carla's hands found the waistband of his trousers. With Carla blindly undoing his belt, Nick moved his hands to begin removing his T-shirt, reluctantly breaking away from Carla's kiss so that he could remove it completely. Before his T-shirt had even hit the floor their kiss had been reestablished, Nick's hands catching Carla's before she could undo his trousers despite having already undone his belt. Placing his hands against Carla's hips, Nick pushed her backwards, stepping with her to retain their closeness as he led her towards her bed.

As they walked, turning in those same haphazard circles as before, Nick's hands found the front of Carla's jeans. Having undone Carla's jeans Nick placed his hands against her hips as he stepped back towards the bed. Suddenly the edge of the bed against the back of his legs caught him unaware, sending him falling back onto the bed with Carla falling on top of him. Briefly the pair chuckled into their kiss, their soft chuckles turning to soft moans as Carla landed on top of Nick, her breasts pressing against his chest. For a moment they remained simply kissing each other before Carla straddled her legs either side of Nick to allow him to slip his hands between their bodies. Slipping his hands into Carla's jeans Nick pushed her trousers down her legs, running his hands over the lace of her knickers as Carla quickly kicked her jeans free. With her jeans discarded on the floor Carla knelt either side of Nick who ran his hands up her body to massage his hands over her breasts.

Throwing her head back at his touch Carla ran her hand through her hair, pressing her breasts into Nick's hands. Leaning closer to her Nick moved his hands behind Carla's back, wrapping his arms around her as he pushed her to lay on her back beside him whilst climbing on top of her. Carla lightly sighed as Nick kissed her, curling her arms around his neck as Nick's his hands trailed down her sides. Hooking his fingers into her knickers Nick pulled them partway down her legs before slipping his hand between her legs, a loud moan escaping Carla's lips as he trailed his fingers across the wetness between her legs. Laying at her side Nick slowly circled his finger around Carla's entrance, kissing her neck as he slipped his finger into her. Sighing to herself, Carla let her eyes fall closed, her fingers absentmindedly playing with Nick's hair as his fingers played over her folds. Arching her back towards Nick's hand Carla parted her legs further for him, mumbling to herself as Nick brushed his thumb over her clit whilst slipping his finger deeply into her.

Slowly pulling his hand away from her Nick shuffled down Carla's body, removing her knickers completely to allow Carla to wrap her legs around him. Shuffling himself between her legs, Nick trailed his kisses over the inside of her thigh before softly kissing her entrance. A heavy sigh escaped Carla's lips, who ran her hand through her hair, as Nick lightly flickered his tongue against her bud whilst slipping his finger deeply into her core. Slowly Carla's hips began to meet each of Nick's movements as he built a steady rhythm against her before he removed his fingers from her completely, much to Carla's disapproval. Slowly opening her eyes Carla found Nick gazing lovingly at her as he removed his trousers and boxers to reveal his aroused member. Shuffling down the bed Carla wrapped her arms around Nick. 'I love you.' She whispered breathlessly as she kissed him, tasting herself against his lips.

Pushing Nick round to sit at the edge of the bed Carla ran her hand over his aroused member. 'You know I love you too.' Nick mumbled breathlessly against Carla's lips causing a light smile to flicker across her lips. Breaking away from the kiss Carla shuffled herself to kneel between Nick's legs, his hand running through her hair as she kissed his member. Curling her hand around his base, Carla took the tip of his member into her mouth, lightly sucking against him as she massaged him with her hand. A loud moan escaped Nick's lips at her actions, his hold of her hair becoming ever so slightly tighter as she swirled her tongue around his tip. With the burning desire she felt for him deep inside her core becoming overpowering, Carla pulled away from Nick running her hands up his chest as she stood between his legs. Snaking her arms around his neck Carla knelt on Nick's thighs as he met her kiss, wrapping his arm around her to hold her close to him as he guided himself inside her.

Resting her hands on Nick's shoulders Carla slipped her legs either side of him, straddling him as she moved herself above him. Quickly she built up a steady rhythm against him, her eyes falling closed as Nick's kisses fell against her neck before he pulled away from her and leant backwards. Laying back on the bed Nick placed his hands against Carla's hips who placed her hands upon his chest to support herself as she quickly found the same steady rhythm above him. Moving his hand from Carla's hip Nick lightly brushed his fingers against her bud causing a loud moan to escape from Carla's lips. Lightly biting her lip Carla knew she was close, the familiar sound of Nick's moans beneath her subconsciously telling her that he was too. With his hand falling away from her bud Nick's hips bucked into Carla's a loud moan escaping his lips as he released into her. Running her hand through her hair, Carla involuntarily shook her head as she felt herself clamping against Nick, a loud moan also escaping her lips as she climaxed.

Slowing her movements against him, Carla felt Nick take her hand, squeezing it a little, before she moved away from him to lay at his side. Carla rested her hand against his chest, her eyes remaining closed as she attempted to regain control of her ragged breathing. Beneath her hand Carla could feel Nick's heart pounding as she knew her own also was. 'I've missed you, girl.' Nick breathlessly told her as Carla opened her eyes to look at him. 'Oh, Nick.' Carla mumbled, suddenly finding herself having to hold back her tears. How could she have been so stupid as to jeopardise everything with him for nothing. 'Hey, come here.' Nick whispered, pulling Carla into his arms. 'Shh, come on.' He whispered reassuringly as he held her, softly kissing her hair. Slowly Carla felt herself relax in Nick's arms, the tears which had threatened to fall never materialising. 'I do love you, you know.' Carla softly whispered. 'I know you do, I love you too.' Nick whispered back, looking down to meet Carla's soft kiss.

With her head resting against Nick's chest Carla closed her eyes, feeling his fingers playing with her hair as he held her close. This was the woman he'd fallen in love with. This was the woman he was going to marry. There was no doubt in his mind about that and now, in the wake of their intimate love life having at long last been reestablished, he was sure there was no doubt in Carla's mind either. There was just one thing. He needed to hear her say those words. 'Carla?' Nick asked, his fingers playing with her engagement ring as he looked down at her hand upon his chest. 'Hm?' She mumbled with her eyes remaining closed, not moving from her position in his arms. 'Will you marry me?' Nick whispered, his question causing a light smile to flicker over her lips. 'Yes.' Carla whispered, opening her eyes and tilting her head to look up at him. 'I will.' She whispered, meeting Nick's soft kiss with her own. 'Of course I will.' She whispered against his lips as he kissed her once again.

* * *

It was the most peaceful she'd slept in so long, waking in Nick's arms for the first time since that fateful day. Lifting her head from his chest Carla watched Nick sleep, lightly placing her hand against his chest to steady herself. He looked so content, stirring a little as she moved beside him but not waking. At that moment Carla knew that he could never be told of her infidelity, because what he didn't know couldn't hurt him and that was the way she needed it to stay. She'd hurt him enough. She would carry the burden of her secret into their married life and take it with her to the grave.

Slowly Carla leant towards Nick, her hair lightly falling across his face as she kissed him. Her kiss was soft against his lips but nonetheless Nick stirred, mumbling to himself as he woke. A light sleepy smile crossed Nick's lips as he woke to find Carla, who'd remained leant close above him, pushing her hair behind her ear. For a moment the pair simply smiled at each other before Carla leant towards Nick, placing her hand against his shoulder as she met his lips with another soft kiss. 'I've missed being woken by your kisses.' Nick whispered against Carla's lips, slipping his hands down her body before pushing Carla onto her back as he climbed over her.

A light sigh escaped Carla's lips as she slipped her hand into Nick's hair, returning his kisses which slowly became more passionate. Letting herself be pushed backwards, Carla shuffled to allow Nick to move above her for what would lead to Carla needing to find another excuse for being late for work, something which she hadn't needed to do in far too long.


End file.
